'TIl Death Did Us Part

January 12, 2015

"Death".  Death is so raw.  Death creates an undescribable amount of emotions in which I cannot speak for all who have experienced a loved one who has crossed over.  Death can either bring people closer together or it can completely rip apart a whole family, a friendship or a relationship. Death is a ripple effect.

This subject might be heavy but it might bring some awareness, maybe some understanding, or maybe you don't agree with anything I have to say at all and that is okay. I wanted to write about this because I have witnessed what death does beyond the grief.  Grief is not to be described by one person so I cannot speak for all. Every single person has a different feeling, journey, emotion or process with grief.


During the past 8 years of helping others with my gift I have seen tremendous peace that comes with readings.  I have seen tears of joy and reconnections.  I have seen the shoulders of many literally drop with sigh of relief knowing that their loved ones are okay.  I have held many sweaty hands and have had tears and snot swiped onto my cheek as I give someone a hug after a reading.  (Yes, snot). What a great feeling it is to help someone find that peace. 

"Death" can either make or break.  I have stood infront of thousands of people the past few years and I really started to notice similiar situations for many. The situation was either good or it wasn't so good.  What I have finally started to gather is that when a death occurs it can either bring family, friends, or a relationship closer together than ever before or it can absolutely rip apart love.  My family was close before Sean passed away- we were really lucky that we all have such a loving, LARGE and compassionate family.  After Sean passed, without doubt the grief was unbearable, shocking, gut wrenching and especially hard to witness his mother, father and sister deal with Sean's passing. 


The ripple effect began.  We became stronger than ever before.  Our family stood side by side like a force field that you could not destroy.  We could not be separated.  We held hands, hugged, kissed and told each other "I love you" over and over and over again, we  we took more pictures, we cherished every single moment.  Holidays were not easy but we had to be together. We made sure we got together more often, called each other more.  The physical loss of losing Sean undoubtedly brought indescribable pain but it brought a beautiful ripple effect.  Our family became one big unit.  Not only that but I believe Sean opened universal doors for us all- and for myself, the Medium door- which has led me to thousands of people to help heal- and I trust that Sean made this all happen. 

Sometimes the ripple effect isn't pleasant.  Again, I cannot speak for every person's situations or what kind of deep rooted problems that started long before a death even occured or even afterward. I can say I have brought through many spirits  and they have brought up the fact that their "children aren't speaking", their " siblings are fighting over estate or money issues", that "Sally took Mom's ring and isn't fessing up when it was suppose to be mine".  Death can cause a full blown explosion.  Emotions run EXTREMELY high during a passing.  For YEARS families do not speak to one another.  For years anger is held. As crazily as this is, possessions (OBJECTS) cause families to rip apart.  I absolutely believe that possessions from a passed loved one are so sacred and important as we feel that is sometimes our way of holding onto them.  Maybe holding on to possessions is a way for making up  loss love that they couldn't give to you.  It could be 1 million different things and I cannot speak for all nor will I get off topic with my A.D.D.

What makes me the most sad for people is that after a death has occured-support systems crumble.  The people you thought were so close to you, so close to you and you would never think they would ever leave your side... and they did.  I will speak for both sides.  Death can be awkward.  For instance, I have seen this scenario so much.. a young girl has lost her brother and a majority of her friends have disappeared.  Where did they go?  You know they are not heartless people but why aren't they calling her?  Hanging out with her?  Inviting her places?

The truth?  Some people don't know how to handle death.  They don't know what to say.  They don't know how to make things better- so they flight. 

A way to help fix this?  Reach out.  Tell them it's okay to talk about your loved one who passed.  They aren't reminding you of the elephant in the room.  Tell them you might cry sometimes and you don't need any words or sympathy you just have to do it and let it pass.  If you have already done this and they still are missing- well, they aren't meant to be in your life!  There will be someone else who will cross your path and lift you back up, I promise.

If your that person who has disappeared- reach out.   "Hi I've been thinking of you- let's get together soon!" is just enough.  Just enough is a hand written card.   Just enough is a hug.  Just enough is to be present and not say anything at all. 

Easier said than done to forgive and forget.  We are humans.  But don't let death do you part.  Let it bring you together.


Peace to you! Candace





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