It has been quite a while since I wrote in my blog! This summer seemed to slip right through my fingers and boom here we are at the end of October- what the?!
This past week I had the opportunity to get my ass back down to Sarasota, FL to do Healing Messages from Above at the one and only The Crystal Cave. If you ever get the chance to get to Sarasota you need to do TWO things. First, check out The Crystal Cave at 1899 Fruitville Road and meet my amazing friend Sue and secondly, get your butt to Siesta Key Beach. You will thank me later.
I went around the sun for the 26th time last week! My body feels 26 but my soul feels 10,000 years old. This past week we took Sue & her husband Mike's boat out in Sarasota Bay with our good friend Melanie. We found this incredible sandbar that you could walk for a great distance and find incredible seashells. My dream ever since I was a young girl was to find a damn sand dollar. I have never been able to find one on the beaches of Cape Cod. I was told that I could find sand dollars at this sand bar... do you know what kind of excitment this caused? I was on the HUNT. The PROWL. I wanted this sand dollar!! I felt myself walking & searching faster and harder far ahead of Sue & Melanie, until I found a 3/4 Sand dollar!!! Wahooo!!........
....I waved my sand dollar and squealed with excitment to Sue & Melanie and they both gave me this head cocked look of, "no hunny- it's broken... you can find better". I was not letting go of that Sand dollar.
I did not feel excited with this sand dollar. I couldn't say I found a sand dollar because really I didnt. Was I happy with it? NO. I wanted the whole thing. All of it. I wanted to be proud to show it off. As I held the sand dollar tightly in both my hands I picked it up with my thumb and pointer finger, took one last good look at it and gently released it back to the ocean. I am such a sensitive nelly- I literally had pity for this broken sand dollar. Why? Because I didn't want to hurt it's feelings.
Laugh with me. I was that little kid who would think all of my stuffed animals were freezing cold in the middle of the night and shove every single one of them under the blankets with me to keep them warm. I would feel bad for snapping a branch or stepping on an ant hole. GUILTY CONSCIENCE FOR EVERYTHING I DID.
After I finally released the sand dollar I decided I was just going to enjoy the gorgeous 80 degree Florida weather and bath like water before I went back home to the New England weather. Just as I finally was starting to relax, take in the sunshine, breathe in the fresh salty air and enjoy the SIMPLE things in life..... I found a sand dollar. A perfect, full sand dollar.
I believe I screamed and jumped up and down and said "I FOUND IT!!" Sue & Melanie whipped around and excitedly yelled "YAY!" and had big smiles on their faces for me. After reading, 'The Secret', I decided to send out to universe that I wanted to find an abundance of sand dollars. But instead of anxiously and impatiently searching for a sand dollar I was excited and patiently waiting for my next sand dollar. Before I knew it, I was holding 16 sand dollars in my hands! It was like holding a loaf of bread.
As I was walking back with my "load of bread" I was smiling from ear to ear and I was just enjoying every step I took walking through the water and sinking into the soft sand. It then dawned on me that this simple sand dollar ordeal was a little eye opener & lesson for me.
It was that no matter what I do in life that I cannot settle for something that doesn't have all of the pieces. I cannot feel bad and try to fix something that cannot physically or emotionally be fixed. I cannot settle for something or someone that cannot give me their all. Call this corny, call this whatever you'd like but this was my epiphany. If I felt bad for the sand dollar, I could feel bad for anything or any one person and most importantly settle for something I already KNEW was broken. And lastly, the lesson was to enjoy walking along the journe, to stop itching impatiently and nervously for the next step, the next chapter, the next journey- because up ahead can be the most amazing thing if you just keep walking towards it without hesitiation or impatience but rather with excitment and joy this world has to offer.